Coffee Shops, Spilled Cocoa, and Meaningful Moments

Eclectic coffee shops are my jam. The noise of the world melts away. The heightened awareness of the world’s stimuli fades, and what rises to the top are my thoughts, ideas, inspiration, and creative energy. Coffee shops with good seating, art, and books create an atmosphere that fosters creative flow. They are sacred places to me. They can also be places of connection—working side by side with people I enjoy spending time with.

Before my daughter could walk or talk, I dreamed of one day having coffee dates with her in these spaces that mean so much to me. Last weekend, I finally had that opportunity. I needed to get out of my head. I needed to regroup. I looked up local shops and found one nearby to try out—and it was a hit. Great seating. Lots of plugs. An ambience that fit my style.

My daughter joined me on this adventure. Before we left the house, I told her to grab a book and a notebook to bring with her. She asked if she could also take her stuffy. We filled our bags with magazines, books, pens, highlighters, my laptop, and her stuffed animal, then set off. She also brought her purse and jewelry. She was excited—and so was I.

She ordered hot chocolate and a grilled cheese sandwich. I ordered a chai latte and a chicken panini. We shared a muffin. We found a spot by the window, pulled out our things, and settled in. I really wanted to work on some online magazine submissions. She wanted to look at her book. Interestingly enough, her math workbooks ended up grabbing her attention the most. I sat with an open screen, helping her get settled, periodically answering questions. I wasn’t really able to get into a writing groove, but I was acutely aware that I was in the midst of a moment—an extremely meaningful one.

I was in a sacred place with someone I love dearly, surrounded by the smells of coffee, within arm’s reach of my own hot drink, and surrounded by papers and books. I paused. I inhaled the moment and exhaled gratitude.

Sometimes, moments don’t look exactly like I imagined them (side-by-side reading and writing, cranking out pieces), but they become exactly what they’re meant to be—a moment of connection, of seeing and being seen.

Moments after leaving the coffee shop, hot chocolate spilled all over the rugs in the back of my car. A rush of reality flooded my emotions. And then I paused.

Embrace the moment, Ashley.
Savor the moment. It’s not that big of a deal. Savor this time of connection.

I quickly checked my disposition, which had immediately been consumed by frustration. But then, what I had gained during our time inside the coffee shop began to carry over. In that moment, I made a decision to let meaningful connection triumph over life’s small irritations.

I took a deep breath. Cleaned as much as I could in the parking lot. Got in the car, put on music, and sang with my daughter all the way home. I decided not to let a cup of spilled cocoa ruin our moment, but instead to carry our coffee shop connection into the ride home.

Here’s to intentionally having the best summer ever!

“Sometimes moments aren’t exactly what I’d hoped they’d be, but they’re exactly what I needed them to be.”

— AJM Ellis

The Best Summer Ever

The weekend after the last week of school and before summer camp began, my daughter and I decided to make a list of things that would make this summer the best summer ever. I’m a crafter, so I have not-so-random supplies in my office/studio. I found a long, narrow piece of chart paper, brought it to the living room with the necessary supplies, and began drafting a checklist to help my daughter and me have the best summer ever.

For me, the main goal was to set our minds and effort on having a great summer, primarily utilizing the resources we had within our immediate reach. We took turns sharing ideas and writing them down. I modeled examples of simple but meaningful (to us) activities/goals. For instance, we love to dance, so learning two line dances was an activity I added. I also pushed a little (but not so much that it would make the list a chore). For example, I have added a personal aspiration to read three books. My daughter wanted to have a similar goal, but our books are completely different in length and complexity. I pointed out that she had read three books just a few days before and suggested she set her goal to “many” books and tally the number she read. This would allow her to read for the love of reading and celebrate the quantity read.

Since we posted our list on one of the doors in our home, we’ve thought of other activities like making up and recording a skit and trying out a new fruit (dragonfruit to be exact).

This exercise was low-pressure, high-engagement. I didn’t try to over-regulate or consume the list with my ideas. I facilitated co-creation. I allowed it to be truly a collaboration. In addition, our list is not a task list of must-dos but rather a visual reminder to make our summer great with the simple joys right at our fingertips.

I hope to follow up in a month or so and share with you reflections and stories.

In the meantime, here’s to the BEST SUMMER EVER!

The Images We See...Matter

These are some of the images that hang in my daughter’s view. They represent verses, affirmations, and prayers regarding her. What we see, what we say, and what we hear all impact our self-concept. She may not fully understand the images we surround her with now, but they matter. The world offers so many other messages. Through my words and art, I will ensure my daughter is saturated with love, truth, and light.

Bath Time

Bath time used to be a place of solace, reflection, and release for me. I could stay in the tub for over an hour. If the water got cold, I’d add more hot water.

Things are a bit different now. It’s not unusual that just as I lean my head back and close my eyes, I hear the dragging of a stool in close proximity to the tub. I open my eyes to see my daughter attempting to play with the bubbles, talk to me, or just be in the same room with me. I dare not lie and say that I always welcome these moments. Nevertheless, tonight’s bath time was different.

Last weekend, we purchased three new books from the bookstore- all favorite read-alouds of mine. Out of the three, my daughter’s favorite was “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” by Judy Viorst. I decided to reread it to her while she was in the tub. I LOVE this book. It gives so much room for antics and using your facial expression and voice inflection to bring to life Alexander’s exasperation as you read. When I finished reading, my daughter asked if she could read it to me while she was still in the bath. To avoid wet pages and not extend bath time by 20 to 30 more minutes, I told her she could read it to me while I was in the tub.

I finished my daughter’s bath time, got her dressed, grabbed her dessert, and started my own bath water. She dragged her pink chair from her table set into my bathroom and used our regular stool to hold her napkin and cookie. As she read, she began to imitate my reading of “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” She read with excitement, spelling words for me that she couldn’t pronounce. Because I was familiar with the story, anticipation of certain words helped me support her. I didn’t try to “teach” her per se; however, I did use questions to push her thinking. I mimicked Alexander, laughed at some happenings, and engaged with the characters and storyline. Multiple times, my daughter spelled out the word “could.” I made a mental note to post could, should, and would somewhere around the house in the next several days and practice reading those words with her. In the meantime, I told her the world every time she asked. We laughed when she realized what the word was by the third or fourth ask. By the end of the book, she remembered what it was. She felt no shame in not knowing a word. Our energy was light. She was enjoying a book, enjoying the reading, enjoying the storyline, and enjoying the experience of reading this particular book with me.

Bath time tonight was invaluable.

I embraced the moment. I embraced our version of bath time and in return received an opportunity to experience the joy of a good story with my daughter.