I was trying to tread lightly
So as not to offend
Contorting my figure to fit in narrow spaces
So as not to bump, touch, or brush up against
It took me a while to figure out
That nothing I could ever do would be enough
To satisfy your need
For my nonexistence
It is my existence
That offends
It is my existence
That rubs you the wrong way
The very sound of my voice
Causes you irritation
Comments or questions bring on a scowl
The sound of my laugh, the rolling of eyes
The very essence of my presence
Causes frustration
I can’t fulfill expectations
And I’m taking up too much space
What am I to do with these facts?
Continue to cower and contort?
Continue to shrink and be less?
Continue to wish to disappear?
I hear my Father say,
“I prepare a table before you, in the presence of your enemies.
I anoint your head with oil.
Your cup runs over.”*
I hear my Father say,
“You are a ‘candle set upon a hill’
A light that is not to be hidden,
Salt meant to season.”*
I hear my Father
And I know I must not cower
I must not shrink away
I must not wish to disappear
I hear Him call me to take up space
But first in my heart in mind-
To know I have value and that HERE is where
I belong
I hear Him call me to take up space
With my presence
With my voice
With my thoughts and ideas
He tells me not to be silent
He tells me to stretch out my limbs
To catch the warmth of the sun on my skin
And to dance and sing and smile and be
He tells me to stand up straight
Resisting the pull of insecurity and people-pleasing
Resisting the gravity of negativity
That tries to pull my heart, mind, and spine down, down, down…
And so I plant my feet firm on the ground
Letting each toe feel the grass beneath it
I straighten my spine
And stretch out my arms
I let out a sigh of release
I let out a song of praise
I hum, I sing
I speak
I place my mark on this world
I fill the space with love and light and art
I think and speak and write my thoughts
And put them in the atmosphere
I take up space
I take my seat at the table He’s prepared
I sit up straight and laugh out loud
I receive the abundance of his blessing with a humble and grateful heart
I show my faith and trust and gratitude
By not hiding what He’s put in me
I show my appreciation and worship
By receiving and living the gift of life more abundantly
*Psalm 23:5
*Matthew 5:13-14